Those who have been emotionally abused understand how much it changes you.
Although the outcome of that change is different for everyone, there’s no doubt that such a traumatic experience can cause us to take a different approach to relationships:
1) We’re very gentle. We’ll keep our distance, especially in the beginning of the relationship, because we don’t want to seem overbearing. We like to give the ones we love space to breathe because we understand suffocation all too well.
2) We have guarded hearts. Our hearts have been tattered by our abusers, so they become as hard as a shield. But keep in mind that on the inside, our hearts are so soft and heavy, which is why…
3) Opening up can be an up in the air kind of thing…because once we open our hearts, we could end up letting loose a flood of emotions. It’s why…
4) We like to go slow…because we don’t want to reveal too much information that could possibly chase you away. We take it one step at a time, becoming a little more vulnerable along the way.
5) We put thought into the relationship…because we’ve been told how we’ve gotten it wrong so many different times in the past and – just this once – we want to get something right.
6) We’re secretly afraid…because we can’t believe that someone as amazing as you could love us and we’re scared that it might just be a heavenly dream.
7) We can be very affectionate. We crave the cuddling-and-kisses-on-the-forehead kind of love because it makes the fear and insecurities melt away.
8) We’ll point out the toxic people in your life. We know the signs all too well and we’ll warn you – we don’t want you to have to go through the same pain we did.
9) We’ll always be there…because at the end of the day, we wished someone could’ve been there for us.