“As much as we notice, consciously or subconsciously, there are some things you’ll notice about us too.”
I remember an instance when I rang the cable company to ask about upgrading my service. After some time had passed, the man I was speaking to had basically poured his heart out about his wife’s battle with cancer. I never found the information I was looking for, but it wasn’t that important any longer. I had given someone comfort and reassurance- even if they had no idea why they felt the need to tell me this stuff in the first place.
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A very similar situation happened when I was out at a restaurant with my niece. I ordered my drink and the next thing I knew, our waiter was asking me how to handle leaving their spouse. There are countless stories like this for me, but I want to know how many you have.
Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non-Violent Communication, defines empathy as this:
“In empathy, you don’t speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with the body. If you say any words at all, it’s because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection to with what’s alive in you.”
With empathy, as much as we notice, consciously or subconsciously, you’ll notice a few things about us too.
15 Things You’ll Notice When You’re Around an Empath
1. We are accused of being “too sensitive” or “too emotional.”
Empaths are not “too” anything. They feel things deeply- both positive and negative. They are in touch with their emotions, and yours. Though it might be harder for an empath to operate in a world designed for less-sensitive people, being an empath has several positive aspects.
2. We can’t stand being lied to.
All it takes is a simple glance in your direction to know you are lying to us. A lot of people don’t realize this, but being lied to really sucks for an empath. We feel it ooze into every aspect of the relationship…and it usually ends them.
3. Negative media images directly affect us.
It’s hard, almost impossible, for an empath to “unfeel” something. We avoid the news, and if we see something upsetting, our emotions are a mess for quite a while. Imagine feeling overwhelming sadness and suffering every single time you saw something violent or upsetting on the news. That’s what it is like for us.
4. Crowded places overwhelm us.
Empaths exist in all personality types, including introvert and extrovert, but even the outgoing ones are easily overwhelmed in crowds. The sheer force of energies and feelings you absorb is exhausting. You might like going to concerts and sporting events, but once there, you can’t wait to leave.
5. We love to heal.
Empaths want what is best for you and your wellbeing. Of course, as with all of our advice, it is only helpful if you actually implement it in your life.
6. We are sensitive to stimulants and medications.
Coffee, certain teas, energy drinks, soda- anything with caffeine makes us more anxious and agitated than the rest of the world. And, when it comes to medications, we try to avoid them as much as possible because of the myriad of side effects we experience.
7. We can only be us.
As far as honest people go, empaths are the truest friends you could ask for. We know who we are and we embrace it fully. It’s other people who seem to have an issue with our sensitive nature and honest attitude.
8. We experience what you are experiencing.
If someone we are close to is ill, depressed, or agitated, we display those same symptoms. We are so connected to what you are going through, that we go through it with you.
9. We don’t like animals, we LOVE animals.
Empaths don’t have pets, we have family members. When we see an animal in the wild, we see a soul…perfect and pure. We talk to them in various ways just as you would your best friend, and guess what…they talk back.
10. Tired, exhausted, and fatigued is normal for us.
Because we absorb so much from others, we don’t just deal with our own emotional and mental drains, we deal with everybody’s.
11. If we give advice, take it. If we take the time to listen to your dilemma, and give you heartfelt advice, just listen to it. We know what we are talking about and if you ask for our advice and ignore it, well, let’s just say it kinda annoys us to no end.
12. We are easily distracted.
Perhaps it is due to our heightened sensitivity to everything around us, but empaths are easily distracted and tend to lose focus. It’s not a bad thing, we are simply enjoying all the small things you might not notice.
13. We can’t stand narcissism.
If you are head over heels in love with your reflection, your money, and your ego- just stay away. We really can’t roll our eyes any harder.
14. Certain sounds really bother us.
But it’s not just sounds. Certain textures, fabrics, bright lights and loud noises can really get to us. The polar opposite is true as well. Soft sounds, gentle caresses, and delicate tastes are also highly noticed, but in a pleasant way.
15. We are great listeners.
It’s true. You can tell us anything and everything about your life and we will listen. We will take that journey with you and experience all the highs and lows contained within. And what’s even better, is that we hold no judgment over what you tell us. We are there to help you, not to hurt you.
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don’t bother him with his movements
So what’s so hard about that?
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:
It’s really not too difficult but… To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
Those who have been emotionally abused understand how much it changes you.
Although the outcome of that change is different for everyone, there’s no doubt that such a traumatic experience can cause us to take a different approach to relationships:
1) We’re very gentle. We’ll keep our distance, especially in the beginning of the relationship, because we don’t want to seem overbearing. We like to give the ones we love space to breathe because we understand suffocation all too well.
2) We have guarded hearts. Our hearts have been tattered by our abusers, so they become as hard as a shield. But keep in mind that on the inside, our hearts are so soft and heavy, which is why…
3) Opening up can be an up in the air kind of thing…because once we open our hearts, we could end up letting loose a flood of emotions. It’s why…
4) We like to go slow…because we don’t want to reveal too much information that could possibly chase you away. We take it one step at a time, becoming a little more vulnerable along the way.
5) We put thought into the relationship…because we’ve been told how we’ve gotten it wrong so many different times in the past and – just this once – we want to get something right.
6) We’re secretly afraid…because we can’t believe that someone as amazing as you could love us and we’re scared that it might just be a heavenly dream.
7) We can be very affectionate. We crave the cuddling-and-kisses-on-the-forehead kind of love because it makes the fear and insecurities melt away.
8) We’ll point out the toxic people in your life. We know the signs all too well and we’ll warn you – we don’t want you to have to go through the same pain we did.
9) We’ll always be there…because at the end of the day, we wished someone could’ve been there for us.
Some laws of attraction anyone?! Comment on what you think.
A strong alpha female might seem intimidating at first, but there’s more to her than just her fiercely strong persona. The alpha female, if you dare dabble, is the best girlfriend you’ll ever have. Here are just a few reasons why:
1. She’ll always be 100% upfront with who she is.
You never have to guess if she’s putting on a front just to reel you in, because she doesn’t really care what you think. She’ll be her authentic self because she lives by the mantra, “Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.” She holds her dignity in high regard and doesn’t feel the need to act innocent and fragile just to avoid scaring you off.
2. She’ll challenge you to be a better man.
If there’s anything her man wants out of life, whether it’s a project or a goal he’s working towards, she’ll push and support him in his pursuit of obtaining it. She wants her partner to succeed, too, because she knows it makes them a better team when they’re both winning.
3. She lives life in the fast lane, which makes being with her fun.
She maximizes her downtime as much as her crunch time. When she’s not working her ass off to better herself, she’s enjoying life in the best ways she can. She’s not the homebody type and would rather go out and be social, hike a mountain, or jet off on a trip to make fun and lasting memories than get into a sweatpants-and-couch rut in her relationships.
4. She’ll want you, not need you.
She doesn’t need a man to provide for her in life, because she provides for herself. This means if she’s with you, it’s purely because she wants to be with you. There’s nothing more sincere and amazing than a woman who truly wants you around even when she can rock the game of life on her own.
5. She won’t nag you to get shit done.
If you forget to do things that need to be done from time to time, she won’t waste her time getting on your case about it. Instead, she’ll figure out a way to get them done on her own. She has better things to do with her time than nagging her partner about petty things.
6. She won’t give up on the important things.
She won’t throw in the towel on her relationships at the first sign of struggle, because struggle is her middle name. She faces all challenges head on and she won’t hesitate to find ways to improve the life you share.
7. She’ll make the first move without hesitation.
Sex with an alpha female will always be amazing because not only does she genuinely enjoy passion and intimacy, she’ll actually be the one to initiate most of the time. Sometimes after a long hard day of killing it, she just wants to rip off the clothes of the man she cares about. And she’ll always leave you wondering when she’s about to jump you next.
8. You don’t need to worry about her.
If she goes out with her girls or has to take a trip somewhere without you, you don’t need to worry she’s going to be faced with any damsel in distress moments, or that you’ll need to rescue her from any situation. She’s a woman, not a princess; she’s got this shit handled.
9. She won’t let herself go.
The alpha female likes to be on point, always. This goes for her career, her health, and her looks, so you don’t need to worry about her falling into any lazy ruts or that eventually she’ll be rocking nothing but sweatpants and a messy bun for days on end. She’ll have lazy days like any other woman, but they won’t last long because she can’t stand not being the best version of herself she can be.
10. She’s extremely loyal to the ones she loves.
When she’s in love, she has her boyfriend’s back in every way, shape, and form. She’ll challenge you to be the best version of yourself while taking care of anything you need in support along the way. She views her relationships as priceless partnerships and just like her go getting attitude about her life overall, she’ll strive to make your duo the best possible team you can be together. Because she doesn’t live a mediocre life, she only wants what’s amazing. If she’s with you, you must be pretty amazing to capture her heart and attention.
Very interesting Ted Talks episode of becoming a Titan but never saying no. Great watch!
Saturday’s Affirmation. Make today great!
The older you get, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. Your realize how much nonsense you have wasted time on…